Category: The Internets


While scanning the news this morning, I came across a story about the Kony 2012 film documentary that has gone viral on YouTube via Facebook and other social networking sites. A large part of my work involves social networks and I’ve seen a lot of these types of campaigns come and go over the years, most not worth the time it takes for the video to buffer.

That’s not the case here.

As I ate breakfast this morning, I watched the film. This is not hype. This is not horse shit manipulation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is not partisan. This is not Jason Russell seeking fame for fame’s sake.

This is an honest effort to do something good for the world and the people in it. Joseph Kony, a man I admit to having never heard of before this morning, has been waging a private war in Uganda for twenty-six years. His victims are children, thousands and thousands of children, that he abducts from their homes and forces to fight and die for him as part of his Lord’s Resistance Army.

This campaign by Invisible Children gives me hope for humanity because they seek to end Kony’s reign of terror in Central Africa not because it’s profitable, but because it is right. You just don’t see that very much in the world anymore.

Grab your favorite beverage, close the door and invest the thirty minutes it will take to watch this film. It changed the way I look at how people can make a difference in the world.

It’s important.

 

Share this video and make Joseph Kony famous.

 

I get a lot of email. A LOT. Gratefully, the SPAM filter in Microsoft Outlook manages to filter out most of the crap. Once in a while, however, something gets through.

Normally, I just delete the message and get on with my day. This morning, however, I saw an email with the subject: “Professional Copywriting Services for Denny Boynton.”

“Huh,” I grunted. It’s unusual for SPAMmers to personalize their little electronic turds—it’s too much work for those cyberleeches—so I concluded this must be something legitimate from someone who happened across my technical blog. I get these a lot, people who want to link exchange, advertise, etc.

So, seeing as it contained no reference to cheap Viagra, penis enlargement apparatus, or deposed African princes who need my checking account to park twenty million dollars in temporarily, I opened the email. Let me share it with you in its entirety:

Howdy Denny,

hope you’re keeping well – I’m just getting in touch to ask if you’re in need of any freelance writing at Denny Boynton – if so, it’d be an honor to help out and I would love to get involved if you have any need for me.

I’m 29 have been working full-time as a professional writer and researcher for five years now; in that time there isn’t a lot I haven’t already covered (there are a few samples below for you to check out). Anything I send over would be written with the site’s readership in mind – as long as you’re happy with the resulting material, you’d be welcome to publish it as you see fit and the content will be owned by you entirely (in that I won’t send it to anyone else, either before or after publication).

The good news is that I’d be able to offer my services at no charge; the only thing I would ask in return is that I’m able to include a link to a site within the article – nothing shady or unethical, just one of the professional businesses I freelance on behalf of. Otherwise I’d be happy to chat about alternative arrangements.

Do let me know if you’re interested, and if so I can get something written for you over the course of the next few days. Needless to say, the offer is open to any other sites you might own as well as dennyboynton.com. I appreciate that this kind of offer is not for everyone however, so if I don’t hear from you, no offense taken and I won’t trouble you again.

Very best,
Imogen

Some samples for your delectation:

http://www.blackpresence.co.uk/2012/01/remembering-a-legend-gil-scott-heron/

http://www.shaanhaider.com/2012/01/urine-controlled-video-games.html

http://britmovietours.com/movie-tv-news/doctor-who-%E2%80%93-where-are-the-lost-episodes/
http://www.cs36.com/the-four-horsemen-of-online-marketing-in-2012/
http://www.tmeink.com/2012/02/my-name-is-might-have-been-my-name-is.html

Wow.

Just…wow.

The email was sent from Imogen Reed (imogen@linegray.com). I did a quick WHOIS look-up and low and behold, the domain linegray.com appears to be a legitimate domain for a business in the United Kingdom.

By all accounts, this is someone seriously offering me professional copywriting services.

I don’t know about you, but I start all my business correspondence by giving the recipient a big old Howdy! Yes sir, nothing connotes professionalism like using cowboy vernacular. Also, that’s some super interesting capitalization in the first sentence. The first sentence. I also especially like the clever use of hyphens as a replacement for periods. Very stylistic.

The second paragraph reinforces something that I’ve said for many, many years:  “Dude, leave semicolons to the professionals.” And need I even comment on the sentence, “I’m 29 have been working full-time as a professional writer and researcher for five years now?” Hey sport, I have a suggestion for you: Why don’t you go research how to proofread.

Could I really trust a writer who informs me that the link he/she would like me to include on my site belongs to “professional businesses I freelance on behalf of” as opposed to “professional businesses for which I freelance?”

And the samples for my “delectation?” Oh yes, nothing delights me more than reading a sloppily written post about urine controlled video games. That’s some good shit right there, let me tell you (pun definitely intended).

All of this, of course, is free of charge.

If this is SPAM, then I’m sorry for giving the bloodsuckers this much attention.

If Imogen Reed is a real person soliciting work as a writer, then I have a piece of sage advice for him/her: Learn to write before asking someone to hire you as a writer, you putz. And while you’re at it, get back to your fryer. The chicken nuggets are burning.

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